Friendship

I was thinking today about one of the things I am most proud of at this point in my Peace Corps service is the many relationships I have with a wide-ranging number of people in my town. One of my neighbors commented to me one day that he admired how friendly I am to everyone and how I really have become a part of the town and I was truly touched by that comment. Of course it is easier for me coming into the situation with a tabula rasa, so to speak, whereas there are relationships between various town members or even entire families that are complicated beyond my “outsider’s” comprehension. But still, I feel good about the fact that I have made friends with all different kinds of people in my town. To illustrate that fact, I thought I’d give a little snapshot of some of those people and our friendship:

Flora is one of the oldest people in my town; she celebrated her 80th birthday in November. I first met her in my first couple months here when my host Mom took me around town to introduce me to people. While Flora lives in one of the most isolated houses in town and rarely leaves the house as it is hard for her to walk, she already knew who I was upon arrival and jokes that all the chisme (gossip) gets to her sooner rather than later. As usual with those visits, she told me I was invited to come visit whenever I like and I really took a liking to her and so try to stop by once every couple of weeks. I get the biggest kick out of visiting Flora because a visit consists of me coming to her house, one of the most humble in my town built of wood with a dirt floor in the kitchen, and her greeting me, “la gringita” (I don’t think she knows my actual name, but she definitely knows who I am) with a huge hug and kiss, saying how much she loves me “like a daughter.” Then she ushers me inside and proceeds to tell me stories about her life, her kids, the neighbors… I love it because she is the epitome of a natutal-born story-teller and she doesn’t have too many people come to visit, so I just sit back and listen. It’s fascinating to hear about what life was like “back in the day.” It was hard work on the farm picking coffee, grinding corn to make tortillas on a daily basis for families that were rarely less than 10 people, and all the other daily trials and tribulations of subsistence farming life, but hearing about walking around barefoot and having family sing-alongs accompanied by some family member on the guitar sounds wonderful in a wholesome, almost innocent way. It makes me nostalgic for a time that, though I didn’t live it myself, seems to be more incongruent with the way of life here with each passing day, due to factors like globalization and the fact that it is hard to get by solely farming (and will probably be even harder after CAFTA comes into effect here).

Esteban is a 21-year-old college student studying tourism and one of the star players on the guys’ soccer team. He had dropped out of high school but when the high school came to our town a few years ago, he turned over a new leaf, realizing he would be missing a real opportunity if he didn’t take advantage of the high school and was one of the 2 out of 15 or so students who graduated in his class (that was 2 years ago and this year 10 of 17 graduated, so at least there’s an upswing track record). He now serves as a constant example to my 13-year-old host brother of the importance of education and how one cannot take it for granted. These days Esteban is one of the most studious people I know—he’s in my English class and has the highest grade and is by far the most dedicated to improving his English. But my friendship with Esteban is not defined by academics, but rather in a different setting: the impromptu mejengas (pick-up soccer games) in the afternoons. We both almost inevitably end up playing till the very end (not the norm, as people are always flowing in and out of games) and then, often with some other neighbor kids, find ourselves sitting on the grass and having really interesting conversations from religion (me explaining Judaism which led to a more general conversation about the role of religion in one’s life) to the differences between learning Spanish and English to how I can improve my soccer game. He is so curious about life in the states and what I think about life in Costa Rica and it is nice to have someone my age to hang out with because, as I joke (although it isn’t nearly as true as when I first got here), my friends here are all ½ my age.

Which brings me to Clara. Clara is one of my Chicas Poderosas and while I have a close relationship with lots of the chicas who live in my neighborhood, Clara is one of my favorites (I know I shouldn’t have favorites— shhh!). Clara is the youngest of 8 kids with just one other sister, and in reality her entire family is one of my favorites in town because the kids are all really great— they are natural athletes, do well in school, and are just all-around good kids. Her family owns the pulperia (little convenience store) across from the soccer field, so I end up spending a fair amount of time there. She is shy, not at all the typical baby-of-the-family stereotype, and kind of reminds me of myself at that age, a little on the tentative side, at least at first. But she is totally adorable and I love seeing her open up during our Chicas Poderosas activities. We also have lots of fun doing anything from me teaching her yoga to doing gymnastic moves and trust falls on the soccer field with other neighborhood kids.

To finish I will briefly touch upon my host family, which I haven’t written about too much, I think because it seems kind of intrusive to write about them on my blog, perhaps because our relationships are personal (not that the ones above aren’t, but on a different level) and I do not know exactly who is reading this. But I cannot say enough (at least in person, if not here) about how lucky I am to have been placed in the family where I am. I cannot imagine living with another family in my town. My relationship with each member of my host family has it’s own unique dynamic and is reminiscent of that of a daughter/sister. My host Dad and I have deep conversations about everything from town politics and how to improve the town in general to random questions about how things work in the states vs. CR (tonight he was asking what the difference is between police and the military because CR doesn’t have a military. He also asked at what altitude airplanes fly, the answer to which I have no idea, if someone can help me with that one!). My host Mom is amazingly strong in a very under-stated way and incredibly sweet. Upon arriving, she told me that when they said they’d host a PC volunteer in their house they didn’t know if it would be a guy or girl, but had told my boss that if it was a girl, she was excited to have a new “compañera” or friend. I am happy to report that we truly are “compañeras” and I think the friendship has been equally meaningful to both of us. My host brother and I have a pretty typical brother/sister relationship and my host parents joke that we even fight like brother and sister (I maintain that because of him I will be deaf after 2 years of listening to him blasting horrible reggaeton music), but in reality he is a great kid and I can count on him to accompany me on an errand around town and play a heated game of Scrabble (in English or Spanish!).

So hopefully this gives an idea of the wide-ranging friendships that have arisen in these past months. I feel like I have a balanced idea of what life is like in my town because it is based on a variety of people from all “walks of life” relative to the spectrum of people living here and I look forward to an ever-increasing number of friendships as I meet and collaborate with people on projects, or just have a conversation with someone on the walk down the hill.

¡Ciao!
Tes

Holiday Season in CR

Happy New Year to everyone! I cannot get over the fact that it is 2009 and that I will be spending the entirety of the coming year in Costa Rica—a simultaneously scary and exciting prospect. Although I certainly know where I will be spending 2009, I don’t necessarily know what I will be doing (of course there are many ideas and projects under way, but this coming year will hopefully bring to fruition many of these projects, if not at least a solid design and plan of implementation). So how did I spend my New Year’s? My host family had a big party in the rancho, complete with karaoke. Have I mentioned that people in CR love karaoke? Not to make generalizations, specifically in light of my previous post, but I think it’s safe to say that a favorite Tico past-time is singing karaoke. In the cities, there are lots of karaoke bars and most people have a microphone that attaches to their stereo at home to do karaoke during parties or when le da la gana a uno (whenever!). I have been asked countless times (and when I say countless, I mean it) to sing “The Titanic Song” which thus far I have only sung once in the privacy of a friend’s house, after feeling badly that she was singing and singing for about an hour with me refusing to sing at all. There was absolutely no way I was going to sing in front of a group of 30 people on New Year’s, but it cracks me up every time someone attempts to convince me to do so.

Back to the party: my 2 older host brothers (my age) are on vacation for the week so they were here, along with other visiting relatives and a bunch of neighbors, too. We all had lots of fun chatting, singing, and of course, eating. The specialty of this time of year are tamales, cornmeal dough with pieces of meat and vegetables wrapped in banana leaves. We also made chicharrones (fried pig, another specialty, specific to the county I live in) and I made a pumpkin roll. Since the Thanksgiving pumpkin pie was such a hit, I bought more canned pumpkin the last time I was in San Jose and to switch things up made the pumpkin roll—also a big hit. All in all, a wonderful way to ring in the new year.

And now let’s back track to Christmas. Being a predominantly Catholic country, Christmas is a big deal here. However, I was surprised to learn that the days leading up to Christmas are more celebratory than the actual December 25th. During the 10 days leading up to Christmas, various families in the town host what are called posadas. Literally meaning “inn,” it is a kind of open house where everyone in the community is invited to someone’s house to sing Christmas carols and prayers and also have a meal together. I really enjoyed the tradition of posadas, as it was a great opportunity to allow community members to spend time together, outside of the “hustle and bustle” of daily life. While I have commented on the fact that what I love about life here is the more laid back atmosphere, there are’t too many opportunity for people, particularly outside of one’s immediate family, to get together, besides community events like dances and BINGO’s (another very popular Tico past-time). The fact that a posada is a religious event, meant that it was more reflective and meaningful in nature, which I also appreciated.

Christmas eve is the culmination of the celebration. There is the final posada which is “hosted” by the church. The posada was combined with the tradition Christmas eve mass, followed by a big dinner. Then a bunch of host family relatives came to the house and we had a get-together pretty similar to our new year’s eve party, the only difference is that we didn’t have to stay up until midnight (while supposedly it is the tradition here in Costa Rica on Dec. 24, it isn’t very compatible with the campo lifestyle which involves one getting up really early to milk the cows and feed the animals).

Christmas day we embarked on an adventure to a river about 1.5 hours away. Surprisingly, there were a bunch of families from my town there and I had a blast swimming and playing around with all the kids. From the river, I made my way down to the coast to see some very special visitors: the Fisher/Cohen family! While it has been lovely experiencing the holiday season with my host family, it was truly special to spend time with members of my actual family during this time. Little did I know how difficult it would be to reach them: I had heard that the road to the little beach town was not in great shape, but little did I know that to travel the 40 km (25 miles) from Quepos, the beach town closest to me, to Dominical, where the Fisher’s were, apparently takes 3 hours. I kept thinking, 25 miles in 3 hours? A marathon runner could do better than this bus! Luckily, due to very few people traveling on Christmas evening, we made it in 2.5 and as soon as I saw Janice, Byron, Nathan, Eli, and Nora, I forgot all about the bus ride and enjoyed talking about everything under the sun with them and relaxing at the beach for the next 4 days. I also did my first “touristy” thing besides just going to the beach in CR-- snorkeling on an island off the coast of the Osa Peninsula. It was really cool—we saw sharks and all sorts of tropical fish, as well as a huge mangrove forest.

On the way back to San Jose to catch their flight home, the Fisher’s stopped in my town, where we packed in a delicious lunch, hiking to some nearby waterfalls, making caldo with the trapiche (see previous post with pictures), and playing a pick-up soccer game with a bunch of neighborhood kids— all in 4 hours! It was a total blast and wonderful for them to get an idea of what life is like here (hint, hint to anyone else thinking about coming…). It meant a lot for me that they were able to come and I believe they enjoyed the experience as much as I did (as well as the kids in my town who got a big kick out of the gringo vs tico soccer game). As I knew would happen, the time went by way too quickly, but we took advantage of every minute which made for a fantastic visit.

On that note, best wishes to everyone for a happy and healthy 2009!
¡Próspero Año!
Besos, Tesa