Friendship

I was thinking today about one of the things I am most proud of at this point in my Peace Corps service is the many relationships I have with a wide-ranging number of people in my town. One of my neighbors commented to me one day that he admired how friendly I am to everyone and how I really have become a part of the town and I was truly touched by that comment. Of course it is easier for me coming into the situation with a tabula rasa, so to speak, whereas there are relationships between various town members or even entire families that are complicated beyond my “outsider’s” comprehension. But still, I feel good about the fact that I have made friends with all different kinds of people in my town. To illustrate that fact, I thought I’d give a little snapshot of some of those people and our friendship:

Flora is one of the oldest people in my town; she celebrated her 80th birthday in November. I first met her in my first couple months here when my host Mom took me around town to introduce me to people. While Flora lives in one of the most isolated houses in town and rarely leaves the house as it is hard for her to walk, she already knew who I was upon arrival and jokes that all the chisme (gossip) gets to her sooner rather than later. As usual with those visits, she told me I was invited to come visit whenever I like and I really took a liking to her and so try to stop by once every couple of weeks. I get the biggest kick out of visiting Flora because a visit consists of me coming to her house, one of the most humble in my town built of wood with a dirt floor in the kitchen, and her greeting me, “la gringita” (I don’t think she knows my actual name, but she definitely knows who I am) with a huge hug and kiss, saying how much she loves me “like a daughter.” Then she ushers me inside and proceeds to tell me stories about her life, her kids, the neighbors… I love it because she is the epitome of a natutal-born story-teller and she doesn’t have too many people come to visit, so I just sit back and listen. It’s fascinating to hear about what life was like “back in the day.” It was hard work on the farm picking coffee, grinding corn to make tortillas on a daily basis for families that were rarely less than 10 people, and all the other daily trials and tribulations of subsistence farming life, but hearing about walking around barefoot and having family sing-alongs accompanied by some family member on the guitar sounds wonderful in a wholesome, almost innocent way. It makes me nostalgic for a time that, though I didn’t live it myself, seems to be more incongruent with the way of life here with each passing day, due to factors like globalization and the fact that it is hard to get by solely farming (and will probably be even harder after CAFTA comes into effect here).

Esteban is a 21-year-old college student studying tourism and one of the star players on the guys’ soccer team. He had dropped out of high school but when the high school came to our town a few years ago, he turned over a new leaf, realizing he would be missing a real opportunity if he didn’t take advantage of the high school and was one of the 2 out of 15 or so students who graduated in his class (that was 2 years ago and this year 10 of 17 graduated, so at least there’s an upswing track record). He now serves as a constant example to my 13-year-old host brother of the importance of education and how one cannot take it for granted. These days Esteban is one of the most studious people I know—he’s in my English class and has the highest grade and is by far the most dedicated to improving his English. But my friendship with Esteban is not defined by academics, but rather in a different setting: the impromptu mejengas (pick-up soccer games) in the afternoons. We both almost inevitably end up playing till the very end (not the norm, as people are always flowing in and out of games) and then, often with some other neighbor kids, find ourselves sitting on the grass and having really interesting conversations from religion (me explaining Judaism which led to a more general conversation about the role of religion in one’s life) to the differences between learning Spanish and English to how I can improve my soccer game. He is so curious about life in the states and what I think about life in Costa Rica and it is nice to have someone my age to hang out with because, as I joke (although it isn’t nearly as true as when I first got here), my friends here are all ½ my age.

Which brings me to Clara. Clara is one of my Chicas Poderosas and while I have a close relationship with lots of the chicas who live in my neighborhood, Clara is one of my favorites (I know I shouldn’t have favorites— shhh!). Clara is the youngest of 8 kids with just one other sister, and in reality her entire family is one of my favorites in town because the kids are all really great— they are natural athletes, do well in school, and are just all-around good kids. Her family owns the pulperia (little convenience store) across from the soccer field, so I end up spending a fair amount of time there. She is shy, not at all the typical baby-of-the-family stereotype, and kind of reminds me of myself at that age, a little on the tentative side, at least at first. But she is totally adorable and I love seeing her open up during our Chicas Poderosas activities. We also have lots of fun doing anything from me teaching her yoga to doing gymnastic moves and trust falls on the soccer field with other neighborhood kids.

To finish I will briefly touch upon my host family, which I haven’t written about too much, I think because it seems kind of intrusive to write about them on my blog, perhaps because our relationships are personal (not that the ones above aren’t, but on a different level) and I do not know exactly who is reading this. But I cannot say enough (at least in person, if not here) about how lucky I am to have been placed in the family where I am. I cannot imagine living with another family in my town. My relationship with each member of my host family has it’s own unique dynamic and is reminiscent of that of a daughter/sister. My host Dad and I have deep conversations about everything from town politics and how to improve the town in general to random questions about how things work in the states vs. CR (tonight he was asking what the difference is between police and the military because CR doesn’t have a military. He also asked at what altitude airplanes fly, the answer to which I have no idea, if someone can help me with that one!). My host Mom is amazingly strong in a very under-stated way and incredibly sweet. Upon arriving, she told me that when they said they’d host a PC volunteer in their house they didn’t know if it would be a guy or girl, but had told my boss that if it was a girl, she was excited to have a new “compañera” or friend. I am happy to report that we truly are “compañeras” and I think the friendship has been equally meaningful to both of us. My host brother and I have a pretty typical brother/sister relationship and my host parents joke that we even fight like brother and sister (I maintain that because of him I will be deaf after 2 years of listening to him blasting horrible reggaeton music), but in reality he is a great kid and I can count on him to accompany me on an errand around town and play a heated game of Scrabble (in English or Spanish!).

So hopefully this gives an idea of the wide-ranging friendships that have arisen in these past months. I feel like I have a balanced idea of what life is like in my town because it is based on a variety of people from all “walks of life” relative to the spectrum of people living here and I look forward to an ever-increasing number of friendships as I meet and collaborate with people on projects, or just have a conversation with someone on the walk down the hill.

¡Ciao!
Tes